Effects of self

The person I have become and can finally see. My experience has definitely changed me.

I find that I am more calm and less dramatic and worried about general life.
When I tickle, I am more gentle about it.
I happen to go for walks often, more so then I did before, and I think part of this is habit.

A lot has changed in me, and caring less about the things that don't matter and more attention on learning whatever I want.

I also realize that I am more giving. I am terrible when it comes to buying birthday gifts for my family and friends, but now I want to give them something. In Haiti, people are generally sharing people, as long as you pay a favor in return. They would share and switch sandals, exchange clothes, or buy a round for everyone. I think I was very stingy with my money, and my perspective is more laid back.

I've kind of lost excitement in my life. The next thing I have to look forward to is landing a job that I love, and right now I think it is going to be a lengthy progress. I like to spend all my free time going to the library and using their reading resources. I never imagined I would want to read the newspaper, but I am making it a habit. Sometimes I even read something about politics, because I think I should know it but it is not one of my interests. Once in a while I go into the children's section and read a few books and read them until I find one I like. It depends on the day, always.

Learning something new and interesting, that can be the excitement in my life.

Last blog, but maybe just for now

I haven’t written in my blog for quite some time. There have been many events I wanted to share but couldn’t because it is inappropriate to share, or my memory isn’t as fresh. I have had a great experience while I have been in Haiti, but the best word to describe my time here is challenge. Of course I have learned a lot about myself. I now know what I am capable of, and what I can or cannot manage in the future. I believe I will be able to handle any situation I am in, but not without the help from others.

First I want to explain what I am thankful for in the U.S. I have a list, and I knew when I finished my time in Haiti and returned home, I would be that much more grateful. I know I am already a humble person and sometimes I say thank you too much. My cousin Kenny tells everyone “your welcome”, even if someone does a favor for him, but his confidence is through the roof. The truth is, I like to thank people. I want people to know they are appreciated, and I also want people to acknowledge my dedication to humanity. I don’t do it for the acknowledgment; I do it because it makes my heart and soul happy. I was born this way… So anyways… I will try not to make the list so long, but here it is.

1. Hot showers - I can’t tell you how many times I have had a cold shower, and each time I have a two second body shock. Bainet is the worst because in the rural area it is generally cooler, with fresh air and a low populated area. Port-au-Prince is mildly cold, and I don’t have to hold my breath to prepare myself for a cold body shock.

2. Garbage companies – I explained this in a previous blog, but I still look for a trashcan if I am in a public place, and my heart quietly itches when I throw something away on the ground. Haiti is littered with garbage, in the streets, in people’s yards, in the parking lots, in the water, etc. It is all so crazy to me, still, that Haiti hasn’t become modernly advanced in creating garbage companies to collect trash. If you didn’t know, each person is the government and they don’t have a government like the U.S., so a lot of things are bizarre here.

3. Employment – Almost everyone in Haiti is an entrepreneur.  There are businesses everywhere on the street, selling anything to make a dollar. If it were me, I would sell what I love. People sell food, beverages, health and beauty products, anything and everything they sell in America. These people are considered low class on the ranking pole, and they would do anything to earn a living, if it includes selling your products at the market from dusk until dawn. Even if I had to work at Wal-Mart part time to pay my bills, I was still fortunate to have a descent job without hard labor. 

4. Washer and dryer appliances – I learned how they do laundry in Haiti and of course they are professionals and I am such a rookie. I will wash my clothes because I like being independent, but these Haitian women laugh at me and take over. I may not be good at washing clothes traditionally, but I try my best. They still don’t come out as clean and fresh as they would if there was a washer and dryer involved, but that is how it works in Haiti.

There are still many many things I am thankful for, from electricity to easy living. One U.S. dollar equals eight Haitian dollars, and that might not mean anything to you, but life in Haiti is very difficult. Because I am white, the majority of Haitians assume I have money, and I can’t tell you how many times I have been asked for a handout.

I still have a lot more I want to write about but this will be my last blog for a while. I thank Marquise for putting up with me. I know I was difficult to handle at times. I guess she is the only one I felt really comfortable around, so she got to see the worst of me.

Now that I am home, I have SO much to do. Apply for jobs, see all my friends and family, work out, learn how to cook, etc. I do enjoy being home.

Thank you all for reading my blog and enjoying my experience with me!!!

I will be adding pictures throughout the week, on facebook and here. They add character!  

WAKE up!

I know it’s been a while since I have written but that is because I have been in a slump, and to be honest a little too lazy to write. However, on Friday night I had a great experience that I feel necessary to share. I went to a Haitian wake. First, I need to give my condolences to the lady who passed away. I don’t actually know her name but I saw her body. She was 76 and her hair was braided with a comb in it. I asked why they left the comb in her hair and they said that’s because that is the comb she always used. The wake was so beautiful in a sense that it was different compared to the American tradition. I would rather mine be similar to the Haitian style than the not so lively wakes they have at home. 

First, we got there and some boys were outside making jokes about the people crying over the loss of their loved ones. I’m not saying that is the cool part, because it is disrespectful, but it is reality. There were several activities going on at once. In one area there was a woman screaming at God asking him why he took her loved one. In another area, people were sitting around telling jokes and stories, reminiscing about the good times they had with their friend. They were also selling alcohol and cigarettes throughout the night. And… they gave out candy and ginger tea to everyone.

In the house where she lived, there were several benches people were sitting on, leaving and entering the room when they felt like it. This was my favorite place. They were singing hymns, the same hymns they sing at church. I took this moment for myself to remember my father. We sang hymns at my father’s funeral and he is the only person I have really loved in my life that has passed away. It was inevitable for his memories to arise during this wake. I spent about fifteen minutes listening to these Haitians sing to God about the loss of their friend/family member, while thinking about how much I missed my father.

Following, Marquise went on to show me what was going on here and there, and she told me that this wake is also a social gathering that lasts until 2:00 or 3:00 a.m. Girls sneak out of their house to meet up with their boyfriends, and anyone can come to this wake. I’m not sure how I feel about that if it was my wake, but then again I would be dead.

At last, my favorite part of the night was when a crowd formed a circle and ‘the boys’ started dancing.  This was SO COOL. These boys did some stomping dance around each other, like a competition. It was awesome because I don’t see this at home, especially at a wake. The only time I really see this kind of stuff is on television. It got dusty from all the stomping after ten minutes, so I left.

I almost said no to going to this event but then I thought to myself, “When am I ever going to be able to attend a wake in Haiti again?” I convinced myself to go.

I have some other memories to share before I leave, and I am waiting until I get to Port-au-Prince to write the rest of those. I can’t believe I leave in less then a week. First goal when I get home, find a part time job. Sad, but that’s reality.

Marquise and I have really grown close this past week and I am going to miss her. : ) 

Gay is not okay?

I went out on Saturday night, in Petion Ville, which apparently is a ritzy part of Haiti. There are a mixed group of races. To be honest, it was nice to see white people hanging out enjoying themselves in Haiti. I went with Fritz, Marquise, and some other friends with only one intention… to dance the night away. I don’t mind dancing with myself, and sometimes I like it, after I feel comfortable enough. I usually have to convince myself that nobody is watching me, and I am NEVER going to see these people again so I can just be myself. After I enjoyed a few Prestiges, I started to loosen up, but in no time a boy asked me to dance.

Well, let’s back it up. Before this boy asked me, Marquise and I saw this guy on the dance floor dancing pretty spectacularly. He was shaking his hips like no one else’s business, and Marquise pointed him out saying, “Now THERE is a gay Haitian boy.” (We have had our talks about gays in Haiti before this encounter) Oh yeah! Totally! I told her I should ask him to dance with me. Of course my nerves said… no way! But two minutes later, he asked me to dance and away we went. He kept saying I was a great dancer, but I was nothing compared to him. I wish I could describe his skills. Basically, if you have ever been to a club and seen a flamboyant gay guy dancing with his girls, this guy fits the criteria.

Anyways, as the time passed, I needed to use the ladies room and he persisted on bringing me. I felt comfortable enough around my new friend to ask him a personal question… I quietly asked him, “Are you gay?” Please don't judge me for asking someone this question, but I was really curious on what his response would be. 

His response was so odd and not what I expected. He told me that he was gay, that his close friends and family know but he prefers to have a romance with a woman and that people ask and tell him that all the time. I tried to explain to him that he should accept who he is and I would never judge him for liking men, but throughout the night he was upset that I asked him and kept on reassuring me that he likes women, while I just kept on reassuring him that whatever he wants is fine and he needs to be true to himself. It was very strange, the whole thing. I definitely opened a can of worms on that one. 

Oh gosh, so the night just started and more boys asked me to dance. Sure, it is just dancing and it was a lot of fun. The gay boy got very jealous and possessive and didn’t want me to dance with anyone but him. As I was dancing with another, he put his hat on me, like he owned me, and he tried to cut in and started dancing with me again. I was getting frustrated at this point. During this time he asked for my phone number and I told him I didn’t know it, which is the truth, and he didn’t believe me. Let’s just say I tried to stay away from him for the rest of the night, and the night ended quickly anyways because of more drama I somehow created that I can't explain on here. 

All I wanted to do was dance, and I didn’t really care with whom, which is why I felt most comfortable dancing with myself. Whoa! I think my dancing nights in Haiti are over with, which is unfortunate because dancing is my escape. It is the combination of music and feeling the rhythm of each song that I just love so much. It is like when a runner goes on a jog to release whatever it is they need and want to release. It is my exercise and remedy all at once. Just talking about it gets me all excited. I look forward to going out in Potsdam when I return home.

That is all for now. Much love! 

Visiting PAP

I am currently sitting on Fritz's bed, enjoying being in Port-au-Prince. I haven't written in my blog so much lately because the internet seems to be getting slower and slower in Bainet. It is a lot quicker here so I figure I could do an update.

I am miserable in Bainet. Every night I feel very alone and depressed. The only part of my day I enjoy is teaching the teachers in the morning, and when I drink my coffee. Other than that my days are slow and boring and lonely. Marquise is the only person I can speak with, and I hate being by her side all the time. I don't think she understands how difficult it is to be in a place where you have no one to speak with. Maybe she did when she first moved to America, but I can't wait to be done teaching so I can come back to PaP for one last week before I come home. At least here I have my foster family and Jimmy.

I know myself pretty well, once I am gone I will want to come back within a month. I plan on coming here for my birthday for a week in January. Mostly because I want to see Jimmy, but also because I have my family here. I don't think I ever want to go back to Bainet, unless I speak fluent Creole/French, or to see the final product of the school. I keep hearing from loved ones that this is preparing me for Peace Corps, and I totally agree except I will be able to communicate with more people on a daily basis. I think I have stressed this factor many times throughout my blogging. I can't imagine living a life where I couldn't have contact with anybody. I would go insane!

Three weeks left, two in Bainet and one in PaP, and then HOME, here I come! I look forward to seeing my girlfriends, relaxing with my mom while we watch an episode of Criminal Minds or Leverage. I look forward to seeing my niece and nephew while they paint my nails and we build tall building out of wooden blocks. I look forward to working a part time job and interacting with strangers every day. I am so excited to see my cat, Tux. I don't miss him terribly, really only if I see another cat. What I really look forward to the most is listening to my own music again. I miss MY music.

I would say that music is the most important 'thing' in my life. I can't find the right word, but music is everything to me. I somehow erased my music on my iTunes, and it can't be restored because they were cd's of mine that I burned, so I've been doing without and it has definitely influenced my attitude in a negative manner.

Anyways, there is a lot I look forward to when I come home. I know I will be greeted with many hugs and "I missed you!" and I can't wait to tell everyone about my adventure here! I am also very thankful for what I have. I have always been a thankful and humble person, but I think it doubled! haha!

This is me when I first arrived to Haiti. This is what I will look like when I head home!

I love you all. Enjoying my day in PaP and looking forward to coming home!

xoxo

Memories

I made a great memory last Thursday that I have been meaning to write about. Seven of us went on a hike, and we went down the mountain, I mean really steep down. It is harder for me to walk down the mountain because my knees feel weak. I guess I don’t do it enough. However, going up the mountain is a workout I enjoy. It is so instant, my legs burn and I know I am pumping some iron. Of course I was the one lagging while everyone was like a bunny jumping from rock to rock. They didn’t mind and Jimmy waited for me, singing silly songs and recommending I take pictures of such and such because it is beautiful and he knew it was new to me. I took a picture of homemade paint. It’s a natural resource. They dig white rocks out of the ground and then put it on huge fire and also let it soak up the sun. Then it becomes like powder and they smash it and add water. Finally they take a broom and paint their houses or whatever needs to be painted. The whole idea is pretty interesting.

Well on our walk we stopped at several places to rest and visit loved ones along the way. My bottle of water ran out quickly and I was starting to get hungry, but I plowed through without complaints. At one point we went by a cemetery and they were all quiet and respectful, but I heard Jimmy try to say the word in English so I said loudly, “A CEMETERY.” They all turned and laughed at me and gave me the shhh… signal. Oh. It is strange because they build little houses for deceased ones, not tombstones. These things are serious, and some are as big as the size of an average porch. And some of them are quiet beautiful. There is one outside this house in Bainet for their Grandmother. Below is a picture I took of the generator used for one of the 'projects' and to the right of that you can see their Grandmother's house tombstone. I forget what they call it.

So we were getting close to home and I finally knew where I was, and I started to head back but they said we have one other place to go. By now we have been walking over 45 minutes (haha!) and I am hungry, thirsty, and tired. My sunburn I explained from a previous blog was in pain and Yeah Yeah Yeah. Jimmy said I had no choice but to go and we would be headed home soon. I am so happy I didn’t let my stubbornness take control because we went to another friends house and it was one of my favorite memories yet. The boys cut down sugarcane and we sucked the sugar out of them, they opened coconuts and drank the juice, and mangos were being passed out to everyone. It was my one of my favorite moments because we were all just having fun by being silly with these natural treats. Everyone was having a good time. I had my camera with me so I took many photos, mostly of the view and the new friends I made. It was pretty cool!

Counting the days until I can come home. : )

Beach... No, it's the OCEAN!!!

Yesterday, I had an awesome experience in Jacmel, Haiti. Jimmy, Marquise, Roberto, and I went to the ocean. We took a motorcycle ride, me in the middle, and Jimmy in the back. I had a moment when I felt like I was Kate Winslet with her Romeo behind her during that scene in Titanic. I lifted up my arms with Jimmy and we felt the wind brush our bodies, while I slightly turn my head to kiss him. Oh gosh, I sound like a lovesick puppy, which right now I am.

Back to the beach, or that’s what they call it and this place is gorgeous, even if it is littered with trash. Palm trees every seven feet, people walking around selling food, candy, all kinds of junk, and men walking around trying to earn a living with their music. It is a relaxing and fun atmosphere. Not to mention the ocean is GORGEOUS! The water is a beautiful clear blue and as soon as I went in, I explained that this is not a beach, but it is the ocean. It was warm and the inside of my bathing suit was instantly full of sand.

When I was younger, I remember my father bringing my brother and I to the ocean in New Hampshire. It was very similar, full of people, HOT sand and they have a boardwalk selling food, clothes, jewelry, etc. The biggest difference is the temperature of the water, and of course the location. The waves were the same and we would jump each time a big wave came our way. Jimmy and I played a game to see who could find the coolest rocks. He won of course! I brought home the first one he found, just as a memory. There were times when the waves took me over and took me under. That was the worst because the water taste disgusting and I was rubbing my eyes too much that by the end of the day they were sore.

I usually don’t eat fish, mostly because fish disgust me, the smell, the taste, the texture, but I tried some of Jimmy's and I actually somewhat liked it. It was strange though because the head and tail were still attached, and we ate the middle. I don’t think it is something I plan on eating every week, but I feel like I can be more open-minded about seafood now.

The drivers stayed with us for the day and our driver had a bottle of alcohol in his pocket. I noticed that he likes to race with the other motorcyclist. I am so very thankful that he didn’t smell like B.O. It is hot in Haiti if you haven’t guessed and half of the time I am not doing any activity but manage to still sweat.  I felt safe with our driver because he does this for a living, even if he is drinking on the job. It was about $16 U.S. dollars for the day for both Jimmy and I. The whole day was a great experience and I had a lot of fun. I was exhausted by bedtime.

Jimmy left for home today. I am going to PaP this weekend with Marquise and Roberto and I cannot wait to see him. It sickens me how in love I am, and it all happened so quickly. I look forward to seeing my foster family in PaP this weekend!

That is all for now, ladies and gentlemen. 

That's life

I totally played hooky today. The teachers are taking an assessment and I wanted more sleep, even though I actually slept well last night. Each night is different. Some nights I can’t sleep because it is just too hot. Other nights I fall asleep for about five minutes, get woken up and can’t fall back asleep for hours. For two consecutive nights I had terrible nightmares. Usually ones that involve murder, either me watching someone getting brutally slaughtered or me butchering a friend and feeling guilty about it but thinking it is totally fine and this is the new me. I haven’t had nightmares like these in a while but it is strange because I remember them so vividly. I feel some resentment toward someone here, the only person I can really communicate with, and I am trying my best to just deal with it. When I researched why I was having these dreams on Google resenting someone may be causing these dreams. I think it is that and the other factor of feeling lonely and desperate for some real human connection.

This week has been pretty good though because I have Fritz and Jimmy to talk with. They speak English, Fritz more then Jimmy, and I teach Jimmy as much as I can. He tries to teach me Creole at the same time. It’s funny because he will act out a word and I guess it, but my favorite is when he makes sound effects, mostly because he is good at it and it makes me laugh. We were at a pool in PaP and he held one hand behind his back, like he was escorting a woman down the aisle, and the other hand was up in the air, holding onto fire, and I couldn't guess what he was doing, and then finally he told me it was the Statue of Liberty. I still remember that so clearly. 

Anyways, I haven’t had any bizarre dreams lately, but I find myself remembering them effortlessly, and that isn’t normal for me. I actually kind of like it.

Like I said before, I don’t do much here. I lounge around most of the day, so I am not experiencing much during my visit. It is disappointing but understandable. It costs money to do anything, I am in the middle of nowhere, and it takes at least two hours to travel by motorcycle to be anywhere exciting. Well, that isn’t entirely true. Haiti means land of mountains, and each new adventure I encounter has a beautiful view. My adventures involve walking up and down the mountains each day. There are mountains upon mountains, and behind those mountains are more … mountains. The first day I met the children they sang a song about this. Haiti actually means abundant mountains, or so Marquise told me. 

And… for those of you know the Tooty Tah song… (Look it up on youtube) I showed the teachers here that song and they LOVED it. It is easy and sooo funny. We did it two days in a row and it really loosens us up and creates a relaxing atmosphere. Wah! 

Here is Marquise and Jimmy raising their arms. Look at the view! 

Much love. <3 

Giving more and feeling good

It is Wednesday and a lazy one at that. This morning during class, we reviewed for the first assessment. I need to write an assessment on the multiple intelligences and the ten principles on building trust and support in your classroom. They understand the seven styles of learning, and added their input on spiritual style, but when my final word was the point that they have to try to incorporate all of these styles into their teaching, they didn’t comprehend. One student thought you had to do all seven at the same time. One thought that after fourth grade, you really only use verbal and linguistic. Their way of teaching is preaching and drilling students with notes to memorize, but in order to be an effective teacher and to have students grasp the concepts being taught, you need to meet their needs and interests.

I am seeing every day how fortunate I am to have been born and live free in the United States. This idea of teaching and having students memorize is uninteresting, even though it seems to work here. Again, I can back it up with they don’t have the proper resources and technology to have the same privileges we do, but how can students thrive to become ‘better’ individuals if they are not given the same opportunities as Americans. I know I can’t change the world and that’s not what I expect to do, but I just want to give as much as I can.

I have no doubt that all six teachers will get a 100 on the assessment because they are so use to having to memorize anything they learn. My concern is that the teachers won’t apply the knowledge they have gained and will continue to teach the way they do. Sometimes I find myself frustrated because I feel like they are coming up with excuses for not being able to apply a technique, but Marquise reassures me that this is all new to them, and it is like any other change of habit. I know it will be difficult, but without a doubt it is necessary and doable.

Anyways, if you have been keeping up with my blog, you would remember how I told you about Fritz and his projects. Well, he asked Marquise and I to teach English to the students taking the computer course for an hour each day. We will be teaching basic English and computer terms after each class. The computers are set up in English, so not only are these students learning how to use a computer, they have to find and read the words in English. It isn’t impossible, but it’s like having your settings in French and trying to figure out what you are doing.

I am overly ecstatic and I can tell the students are also. The students are my peers, and there are about 15-20 students per class, with a total of 100 students. Marquise could probably teach this course by herself because she is bilingual, but since Fritz knows I feel like a princess stuck in a dungeon, not able to freely be and do what I want, so he made this suggestion and I gladly accepted. Sooooo excited, and so is Marquise.

That is all for now. Bonswa! 

Consequences for being forgetful

Yesterday, I went for a long walk to clear my mind and when I say long, it was about two miles there, and two miles back. That is long for me, AND… I did not put sunscreen on. I have an excuse besides I forgot, which I really did forget, but since I have been here I haven’t had to use sunscreen once. We stay in the shade and lathering on sunscreen isn’t a daily routine. Well now my arms are extremely burnt and they feel as if they are on fire. Dumb move on my part, but I'll heal.

Let me tell you about my walk. I left around 9:00 a.m. and I was walking happily, greeting everyone I saw and somewhat smiling, feeling energized and good about myself. All I had with me was a full bottle of water and my goal was to find a place where I could swim because I don’t get to swim often in Haiti, which is another love of mine. So I see the sea from where I am and I am thinking in my head, “This is going to be a long walk but I have all day.” So I started trotting my way to this beautiful land of water. Shortly after I started my walk, this kind couple waved at me to come sit and take a break. (Everyone does that here and wants you to stay and chat for fifteen to twenty minutes.) I stay for about ten minutes, we exchange polite words, and I am soon on my way.

Not bad, still trotting away, and getting further from home, and still aware of where I am. The further I get, the more I doubt if I should actually attempt this trip, but I am dying to swim. Also, the further I get, the less water I have. I finally take a rest and sit under a tree in the middle of the road where I hear the church hymns. As I continue, I come to a spot where there is no walking path, and by now my two arms are on fire! I am dripping in sweat, like I just got out of the shower.

I decide to head back home, trying to save every last drip of water only for when I am REALLY thirsty. I stop at every shade, which is about every fifty steps to help my skin not scream so much. By this time, the sun got me, and I literally felt like I was on fire. I finally reached my newest destination, was was now the house I previously rested for those ten minutes. I kindly asked for dlo (water). Mw vle dlo, meci! I want water, please!

Well they gave me water and bananas, which I am not permitted to drink Haitian water, but it didn’t matter at the moment because I felt as if I was dying of thirst and heat. After that they offered to set up their shower so I could bathe. When I say shower I actually mean taking a cup of water and pouring it on myself. Because I was extremely over heated and my clothes were soaked from sweating. I took the offer and put my dirty and sweaty clothes on after, and took a rest before I headed home. I had no idea who these people were but I do know that almost everyone in Bainet, Haiti is hospitable and friendly, so I felt safe. I've learned I can trust my gut. 

During my rest, I held a two months old baby that fell asleep in my arms. I might add that I feel most connected with babies here because they can’t speak yet and I can’t speak much Creole, so I just talk to them about my life and how I am feeling, like they understand or something. It is the point that we have that in common. haha 

I have been slacking on my blog since Friday because one, Jimmy is visiting for the week. Two, I am running out of topics that I feel I could discuss. I need more activities to do around here besides lounging around.

That is all for now. Muah!!!! XOXO : ) 

Compa!!!

What a week. It is only Thursday and I wish it were Saturday. There is a big Haitian Celebration this weekend. Apparently they spend large amounts of gouds (money) to be fresh so they can attend an all weekend party. It starts Saturday night at 6:00 p.m. and lasts until 6:00 a.m. Then they have church at 8:00 a.m. on Sunday, followed by another party for the remainder of the day. I am actually really looking forward to this because there will be food, music, dancing, laughter, and the whole ordeal just like any other party. Fritz says they will all be looking at me because I will be the only white person there. What’s new?

Anyways, Jimmy is this boy I am interested in and he will be there. We are going to dance the compa all night. Oh how I love this intimate dance. During each instrumental break for a song, we stand as close as possible and move our hips in unison and harmony. My right hand is clasped with his left, while I rest my left hand on his shoulder, and he places his right hand gently on the lower of my back. Our foreheads are pressed together while gazing into each other’s eyes, moving our hips to the beat! I’ve already practiced with Fritz (nothing too intimate) and since I am a great dancer, I got this! Well actually, I like to be in control, and the man is supposed to be, so it will be a fun challenge with Jimmy. He makes my heart beat run away, as Nicki would say. <3  

I really look forward to this event, although I know I won’t be able to stay up all night. If I did I would turn into this dragon spitting out fire at everyone I encounter. Sleep is necessary in my world, in anyone’s of course, but I become some kind of monster if I don’t get enough sleep. I also plan on going to church the next morning, even though I won’t understand what they are preaching. Hopefully my other senses will kick in so I can take something out of it, which sounds so selfish as I write it. Before I go on a tangent, I am going to stop myself.

We had our third class today and it was a challenge for them. I introduced the multiple intelligences, and when I explained the first two, visual and linguistic, they were like, ‘yeah yeah, we know this stuff.’ When I discussed kinesthetic learning (hands on) they were somewhat resistant to the idea. They made the point that they don’t have the proper resources to do this often, and I said they have to work with the resources they have. After I gave some examples, such as using gouds when they are teaching the concept of money, they went back to the idea of using the chalkboard to introduce this idea. No excuses! I had them work in groups of three to come up with their own ideas for a kinesthetic lesson.

The group of girls gave a really good lesson on the parts of a flower, singing a song, and going on a field trip to the garden and explaining the flowers. The boys however had a similar idea but I chose them as the winners (of course it was a competition) because their idea was a little more thoughtful and more hands on. They discussed how they would introduce the roots of a plant, and have the students bring a plant to school from home the following day and label the parts of the roots using different colors, and etc. I picked the boys as the winners because they told me the girls idea was a typical and practical lesson they use often, and I was looking for more originality.

So far, so good, and I do believe they are benefitting already, after three days of teaching. They have these ideas but never really applied them. I got a little frustrated at one point because it seems to me they make excuses for not going above and beyond, and Marquise says that I need to be patient because this is all new to them. She is totally right and I am happy to have her here with me to knock some sense into me when I lose my cool. 

Subjected to becoming a litterbug

There has been a subject I’ve wanted to write about for a while because it amazes me.

Garbage.  

I feel so fortunate to live in the U.S. where there is garbage companies to come pick up our trash for us. In Haiti, there are no such companies, and people just throw their unwanted and finished objects on the ground. Everyone is a litterbug, including myself. I don’t like it. We have fines in the U.S. for littering, and I even get bent out of shape when smokers toss their cigarettes out the window. That is not how it works here. Families throw trash in their yards, and eventually burn it. When you are out in the street, you just toss it on the ground. Occasionally I walk by a small fire, which I assume to be a pile of litter.

It is terrible for the environment, but what else can they do? They don’t have the same luxury, (which I can now say is a luxury), that we do. I don’t drink the water here so Fritz buys me bottled water, and I can’t find it in me to throw the empty ones outside. There is a stack of empty water bottles in the corner of my room.

PAP is worse. There are piles upon piles of trash near the water under the bridge, and along the street curbs. Pigs, dogs, goats, cats, chickens and bugs are rummaging through these piles to find their next meal. It is certainly one of the reasons PAP reeks of filth. I bet you are thinking you could never live this way, but there is no choice. Marquise did tell me there is a new garbage company. PAP is stressing the importance of keeping a clean environment. I don’t know the details but it is a start.

I knew once I arrived to Haiti, I would be thankful for what I have, I just didn’t know what exactly, and this is definitely on my list. 

Bleh...

I don’t have the urge to write in my blog today, and maybe it’s because I want to feel sorry for myself for being home sick. I knew this was to come.

Because I am foreign here, the people literally stare at me and watch everything I do. I currently have a group of people watching me type. I have to understand that it IS foreign, and they don’t ever see this kind of stuff… until now. The computer course Fritz organized is underway. Yesterday, a group of boys walked an hour to check out the place where the latest and greatest technology course is held in the rural community. I guess word travels fast. Fritz just bought a copier, and I think there are more computers here, so this place has something to offer.

This morning I assisted the students on how to change the background of a computer. This amazes me, but they don’t have the access to technology that we do, so this is all very new to them. It is like learning anything new that you have no background knowledge in. 

I am very bored here, and I hate to admit that. Marquise and I only teach for three hours in the morning, and after that we lounge around for the whole day. The only person I can have a conversation with is Marquise, and I can only take so much of her, and she can only take so much of me. I feel lonely often. I spoke with a dear friend of mine yesterday through messages and my whole mood was different. I was jumping around spreading joy and smiling at everyone. I am just now realizing how important communication is with other human beings, for me personally.

I think I did enough complaining for today. I imagine I will be in a better mood in a couple hours. It doesn’t take much to put a smile on my face and make my heart dance.

I miss you all, but I mostly miss the old happy and upbeat Andie. With challenge comes greatness. I’ve got this. 

First class

We finally had our first class today and it was very successful. I loved it and my heart filled with happiness when I shared with them my ways and ideas on teaching. They were open and had a lot of questions. Let me explain.

So there are five teachers, and one substitute teacher, three males, three females. The teachers here do not get paid so they not only teach out of the kindness of their heart, they have to find other ways to make money to support themselves and their family. It is quiet humbling. We had a meeting on Sunday about the details and they were complaining that this is their vacation and they were not getting paid to do this. Marquise then made a valid point that her and I are also not getting paid and that this is all volunteer work.

During our meeting we decided on a time to meet every day. For the first class meeting, four of the team members were over a half an hour late. Later I learned that it takes about an hour to an hour and a half each day to walk to the school, so they had to leave by 6:30 some days. Our classes were suppose to start at 8:00 am each day, but that usually was never the case, so our classes were cut short every day. 

Anyways, so we got started and at the meeting the day before I asked them to come to the first class with their academic concerns. Their concerns are mostly about making lesson plans, classroom management, student engagement and preparation. This is perfect because I brought those specific resources with me to share, and more.

It is such a patient process because Marquise is the translator and she has to listen to their ideas, and then explain to me. Then she asks me a question about what I think and tells them, then they ask questions about “how would this work?” etc., etc. For example, for attendance they call out each students name and the student says ‘present’. I suggested to them that the students should take attendance when they first arrive to the school. It was a concept that never even thought of. 

Each student would have their name written on a clothes line clip, which would be attached to a string on a hanger by grade level. The students would find their name on the hanger that says Absent and clip it to the string on the hanger that says Present. I personally would make a fun visual, but I am trying to work with the resources they have here, and plus there are 150 students. We did this as a class so they could practice this strategy and hopefully apply it to the new school year.  When I first introduce the idea, they said it would take up too much time, but I explained that it would actually save them time because students could do it right when they get to school, and all the teachers have to do is look at the clips instead of calling 40 names out while each student waits. After I drew them a picture and they understood the concept, they liked it.

The students go to school from 8:00-1:00 and they don’t have time for extra activities in the morning. This is unfortunate because I believe students need to create a community in the classroom. We talked about what kind of consequences there should be when students are absent and/or late, and the difficulties of keeping students engaged when they are in a one room building with no walls. The students get distracted easily so it is more difficult to teach lessons.

We have A LOT of work to do and I am excited because they seem pretty open minded, and this is also helping me prepare for my own classroom setup, and what my ways are.

Marquise and I left smiling and we were pretty proud of ourselves. We were saying, “You da shit… No, you da shit…”

Finally, I get to do what I came here to do. I have high expectations. 

What is your belief?

Good morning!

Oh jeepers, another day, and Sunday at that! Most Haitians are firm believers in Jesus, so Sunday is a day of gathering for church and family. Marquise tells me they make a big feast and enjoy each other’s company for dinner. Sounds similar to the U.S. church goers back home. I love Sundays at home and here for family gathering reasons.

Last Sunday in PAP, each family member that works always has Sunday off, so in the afternoon there was housework to be done after church. Dusting the furniture, wiping down the walls, washing piles of laundry, resetting the dinner table for the mini celebration of life, love and praise. It was nice. After we all eat, we sit around outside, laying on each other, talking about the week, making jokes, and just relaxing.

Now that I am in Bainet, I am not sure what this Sunday will bring. I am not a religious person by any means, and once upon a time I thought I believed in God, but that may have been a facade. I know that I was surrounded and influenced by friends I made when I first moved to New York. They all have relationships with The Holy Spirit. Some of the friends have been going to church with their family their whole life. Some have found Jesus later in life and believe he is should be served through loving him and all others. I am still very close with two of these friends, and they haven’t given up on me because of the path I have chosen, and they won’t let me give up on them, no matter how much I think they judge (even though they don’t). They are my sisters and I wouldn’t be Andie without them.

Back to my belief. I am not sure what I believe in… still. I like to think that whatever you have faith in, whatever kind of spiritual leader you follow, or what religion you believe, or if you don’t believe in anything at all but yourself, that you are correct in your ways, as long as it is pure goodness.

Personally, if I could have my own way, I would go to a “church” where all the members wanted to do good for their community and world without having to follow a God and just be good individuals. My friend Brianna wrote on my Facebook wall yesterday about how I am destined to do good things in this world. I agree, I enjoy serving others because it is where my heart it, but why do I have to put a god before that?

I mostly just believe in myself, and maybe there will come a day when I will ‘find my guru’ as Elizabeth Gilbert once stated.

I feel very blessed to be here.

Pase yon bel joune! – Have a nice day!
Much love. 

Bainet

Bonjour!!!! Good morning!

When I first arrived to to the capital of Haiti, Port-au-Prince, I thought it was beautiful. Everything was different and I soaked it all in. Each new area I would say, "wow, that is beautiful!" for everything. Marquise and Fritz said this was nothing and wait until we get to Bainet. Of course they were right.

Bainet is in a rural area surrounded by mountains. There is a farm every where you turn, chickens hanging out with their chicks, donkeys carrying supplies, dogs begging for food, piglets rummaging through the ground to eat whatever they can. It is gorgeous here. GORGEOUS. I walk out of my house and I see mountains upon mountains. This is just one picture of my view, not the best but still worth sharing.

Since I have been here, I haven't felt dry. My clothes get wet and stay damp, my hair is damp and stays damp. But I love that we live on a mountain because when I go for a two minute walk uphill, I can feel my muscles pumping and my first drip of sweat comes almost instantly. I like the workout. It has only been one day and my legs are somewhat sore. Good!

This is what the view looks like in the evening.

Because I am the only white person in the community, everyone stares at me like I am a celebrity. It doesn't get old. They stand in groups and gawk at me. Me being friendly and happy, I greet them and some of them smile and greet back while others just stare with a blank face. Sometimes I don't acknowledge they are looking at me and keep on walking. The majority of them are kind people, especially the children. Some children smile at me, and when I smile back they hide their faces. It's quite innocent and precious and I just want to hug them.

I did meet the school children yesterday and my heart was filled with so much joy I couldn't control my tears. 150 students greeted me with a warming "Welcome, Andrea!" It was awesome. The majority of them just stared at me with wide eyes and no expression, no matter how I smiled at them.

This is their school.

I sang my favorite children's song I learned at a summer camp one year for them. It is called "The Princess Pat" and it has movements with each line. This wasn't difficult for them because they are quick and it is a "repeat after me song." We did it three times, and then they sang a bunch of songs for me. I got really upset at one point because I wish I could speak with them like I do with my own students, but I got over it when we started to sing more songs.

I am enjoying myself here. I just wish I could communicate more. Much love.

Andrea

Fritz aka Mr. Inspiration

Fritz, I know you will be reading this so please correct me if I am incorrect with my thoughts.

Doudou is his nickname, which I think means man with no problem, goes with the flow, and is pretty easy going. Well let me tell you a little about Doudou. He is the most inspiring man I have ever met and once he sets a goal, he will do anything in his power to complete it.

Half of the time he lives in Port-au-Prince with his family, organizing meetings, buying supplies for his projects, etc., etc. Bainet is where he spends the rest of his time working to improve his organization, Flap Haiti, working on his many projects to make a better education for children in Haiti.

I love this man for many reasons.

Five years ago he had a dream to build a school, and this is a working progress. In five years he has purchased the land and leveled it. This was finished only one month ago. The next step is to find sponsors to raise $150,000 to build a state of the arts school in Bainet, Begin. I just arrived here last night. You know that saying "in the middle of no where"? Well I can honestly say this is in the middle of no where. It is gorgeous here. Mountains surround you. The roads are made of rocks and dirt. The are many s-curves to drive through, honking the horn to let another driver know you are coming around the corner. It gets dusty quickly and easily, although it isn't s bad as Port-au-Prince.

Anyway, back to Fritz. He is currently working on three projects, one being the reason I am here. I am here to train the teachers on more modern techniques, methods, and strategies of teaching, and I finally start teaching on Monday. Marquise will actually be the one teaching because the teachers do not speak English, so I will be telling Marquise everything and she will be translating it. I will let you know how that goes. I wish I could come back next summer, but I will be in some other country serving for Peace Corps. Maybe I will be close and can travel here on my vacation. Who knows!?

The second project is training students on how to use a computer. He found a sponsor to donate over a dozen computers, and he has all of the teachers gathered, but it cost $24 US for each student, for cost of transportation and to pay the teachers. Fritz wants more students then he has now, and I think he is waiting for more sponsors to donate so that can happen. He wrote a status on Facebook a week ago, and so far five people have donated. I feel very fortunate to come from a place where I have access to a computer whenever I want. I am also thankful that I can use one efficiently.

I don't know exactly what the third project is because we haven't talked too much about it. But do you see what I mean? This man knows what he wants and will do whatever it takes to get it accomplished. It is truly inspiring. I look forward to the day when the school is built and the project is finished, but I think it will always be a working progress. It's like being a teacher, learning every day, even if you have had years of experience.

I don't think my words suffice his awesomeness, but he is my brother now and I love him and his family very much. I have my own family in Haiti.

Flap Haiti is name of the organization:    http://www.facebook.com/flap.haiti
Check it out, and maybe donate to make a better life for the people in Haiti. : )

That is all for now. Orevwa - bye

What a treat!

I finally have the Internet at my fingertips, which means I can upload on my blog more often. I like keeping a blog, even if no one reads it.

We still haven’t made it to Bainet, due to vehicle issues. Hopefully we leave tomorrow. Port-au-Prince has been really good to me. I still love it here but I am so ready to start teaching. I look forward to meeting the children. 

I want to share some of my favorite treats with you while I have been here… the first being beer.

Ahhh Prestige… World Beer Cup 2000 Winner …  Oh how I love Prestige, mostly because after two of them I am dancing with myself. It only has 5.6% alcohol, but for some reason, it gets to me quickly. I wish we had this lager at home.

Second indulgence… Chocolate … We have chocolate for breakfast, in liquid form and it is so delicious. When I was at home I had the privilege of eating chocolate whenever I wanted. I guess I could buy chocolate here whenever, but I like having it as a treat once in a while.

Some of the other treats I like include ice cream, chicken, coffee, porridge, organic bananas, plantines, spaghetti, sugarcane, avocado (which I grew to love) and goat. I never imagined I would ever try goat in my life but it is so delicious. I will never think goats are cute, ever again.

Some of the treats I don't like but wish I did is mango and coconuts. There are coconut trees in my back yard. Marquise cut one open for me and had me try it but my taste buds disagree.


The time here goes by so slowly. It feels like I have been here for weeks but it has only been ten days. Now that I can go on Facebook again whenever I want, I miss my friends and family way more then I did. Love you all. 

Andie

The adventure is just beginning

I am still in Port-au-Prince, and we leave for Bainet tomorrow. As for now, I love my family here. I think that is why I wake up smiling every day. I can tell they love me, and even though we can't communicate with language, they reassure me that they love me through their actions and smiles.

I felt sick yesterday morning, and I am pretty sure it was just because I was hungry, but the mother of the household, Lona, made me tea. It was the most disgusting liquid I have ever downed before, but Marquise said it would help. It did, or maybe it was the food. Oh, and we have spaghetti for breakfast often. Today it was too spicy for me, but it is still delicious.

Me drinking the tea. Marquise had to take a picture.

This is Dada, and she is pretty amazing. She did my hair for me and she is quick with everything, from laundry, to cooking and cleaning. We laughed so hard today I almost peed myself! She is my favorite, but they are all my favorite in some way. 

This is me learning Creole, and the boy next to me is Ricardo! He speaks okay English, but while he is helping me with my Creole, I am helping him with his English. I look forward to his visits, mostly because he is handsome and I love the way he speaks.

This is downtown in Port-au-Prince. I went there for a meeting, and it was INSANE. The driving is crazy and there are people all over the streets, selling anything to earn a living. There are even children and orphans working. When we have to stop because there is a traffic jam, little boys start wiping the dust off the car to get a coin or two for their next meal. Marquise said they are smart because even if we say we don't have money, they still clean the car. Usually Fritz will find something to give if he can.

I have a ton more I want to share, as in pictures and thoughts, but I think this is plenty for now.

Bonne nuit - Good night!

Arrived at last!

It is beautiful here. Everything is beautiful... the people, the art, the language, the music, the food. I can't wait to start teaching. I meet the children on Friday, we are having the end of the year celebration. I will take pictures to post.
Everyone has been so kind to me, I feel like a queen. They won't let me help with anything. I am the first one served for each meal. The ladies come in to clean my room, and I feel very fortunate and safe.

The place we are staying at is gorgeous, although it is unfinished. It is like a mini palace.

When you first meet someone, you kiss them on the cheek. It's personal, which is why I like it. I am awkward at times. Sometimes I kiss both cheeks, sometimes just one.
The first day we arrived, we went to visit Marquises family. I met two girls that smiled and stared at me. They wanted to speak but I can't quite speak Creole... yet, and they don't speak English. Well we used our body language and eye contact to communicate. The girls picked up a rope and I instantly knew that meant they wanted to play jump rope with me. I was reminded of my childhood.
When it was time to go, we hugged goodbye and I said "Mwen Kontan we'w" (nice to meet you) I liked them and their company as much as they liked mine. When I returned the next day, I got the sweetest hug from one of the girls. It reminded me of my purpose here.

Also, there are these trucks called tap taps, a form of transportation, and I want to ride one once while I am here. They are colorful and stuffed with people. The people here carry any and everything on their heads, and they make it look so easy. I also want to try this, even though when I was a child I tried this with an apple or a book. It isn't at all easy. They put a cloth on their head, and then the object.

This isn't what a normal tap tap looks like, but I wanted to share the art on this one with you. Haiti is colors, and they are also the only country that expresses art on their vehicles.

The electricity comes and goes. While I was just starting to eat dinner around 8:00ish, the lights went out, and thankfully I had my flashlight around my neck.  After dinner I brought out my playing cards and that was a riot. They love the way I shuffle. It was cool and I felt like I finally impressed them. They taught me how to play a game, and it was a bonding moment. I already know I want to come back some day again, and it's only been two days. 

I bathe twice a day, and there are no showers here, but I love my bath time. It reminds me of when I was a child and my mother would put me in a bath and pour a cup of water on me, then wash me up, and rinse me again. I love this for some reason, and I think part of it is because my body is hot and sweaty from the day, so the bath time is a nice way to cool down. It feels awesome and shocking at the same time, because the water is mildly cold but so refreshing. That pink bucket it my shower. 

I don't know how often I can get on the internet, and that is okay with me, except I could write in my blog everyday if I could. Everything is different and I love it. 

Mwen kontan - I'm happy!  :0